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Jonica FM

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(no subject) [May. 6th, 2006|12:22 am]
Jonica FM
[Current Location |Pure Bliss]
[Current Mood |enthralledenthralled]
[Current Music |Reminscent Memories Of Happiness]

We go through years where nothing makes sense.
We go through months just wanting to die.
We go through weeks where we just can't stop crying.

But all it takes is one moment to make things right.

We will forget all the bad things that happen.
We will make a better life for ourselves.
We will find a way through.

We will carry on.

Thank you God...
For this gift you have given me.
I know I don't always see the reason...
But I see now.
There are days of pain...
So I can appreciate days like these.


-jfm
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Is There Truly A Beach Where The Peach Blossoms Grow? [May. 4th, 2006|10:41 pm]
Jonica FM
[Current Location |Paradise]
[Current Mood |enthralledenthralled]
[Current Music |Normandy - Once Upon A Mattress]

Please don't make this end.

I want to hold onto it forever.



-jfm
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Shame, Shame On Me. Come Again. [May. 3rd, 2006|02:30 pm]
Jonica FM
[Current Location |Bliss]
[Current Mood |excitedexcited]
[Current Music |Shame, Shame - From First To Last]

We open tomorrow night.
Oh, gracious.
It's going to be fabulous.
You should all come and see it.





These years are the best years of our life.
And we won't regret.


-jfm
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This Isn't About Love. It's About Friendship. [Apr. 17th, 2006|08:21 pm]
Jonica FM
[Current Location |Frustration]
[Current Mood |frustratedfrustrated]
[Current Music |My Black Dahlia - Hollywood Undead]


'My Black Dahlia'

I loved you,
You made me,
Hate me.
You gave me,
Hate,
See?
It saved me
And these tears are deadly.
You feel that?
I rip back everytime you tried to steal that.
You feel bad?
You feel sad?
I'm sorry,
Hell no.
Fuck that.
It was my heart,
It was my life,
It was my start,
It was your knife.
This strife it dies,
This life
And these lies.
And these lungs have sung this song for too long,
And its true I hurt too,
Remember:
I loved you.
I've lost it all,
Fell today
It's all the same.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
No.
I've been abused,
I feel so used because of you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
No.
The future that we both drew,
And all the shit we've been through.
How could you do this to me?
Look at what I made for you,
It never was enough
And the world is what I gave to you.
Pull up my sleeves and see the pattern of my cuts.
Seems like all we had is over now you left to rest.
And your tears are dried up now,
You just lay without a sound.
Seems like all we had is over now,
You left to rest.
And my fears are over now,
I can leave with my head down.

+ Hollywood Undead +
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You Say Exactly How You Feel About Her. I Wonder; Could You Ever Think Of Me That Way? [Apr. 15th, 2006|12:12 am]
Jonica FM
[Current Location |Teenage Heartbreak]
[Current Mood |uncomfortableslightly hurt]
[Current Music |Crush - Mandy Moore]

Tonight, he came home upset. Not because he didn't see me... but because his friend made fun of her.

And I consoled him and I consoled Kevin. Told Kevin that it was teenage heartbreak and it would be over with soon. And then I couldn't figure out if I said that for him or me.

He likes someone else. And that's okay. I found out in one of the most painful ways; consoling him. Asking what was wrong... asking what she was to him. To hear the words: "I like her."

It hurt. But I just did what any friend would do... helped him solve the problem.

And for the first time he left without saying goodbye.

It's just teenage heartbreak. It'll be over with soon.

And I'm okay. It just hurts a little.

-jfm
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Feel The Rain On Your Skin, No One Else Can Feel It For You. [Apr. 11th, 2006|04:18 pm]
Jonica FM
[Current Location |Paradise]
[Current Mood |cheerfulcheerful]
[Current Music |Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield]

There is something very wonderful about life. It's under appreciated a lot. Maybe because we don't really take enough time to look at what we have going for us. Instead we often look at the bad stuff that happens but honestly... things aren't really that bad. And when in doubt.. a song like this is good to listen to.

I think my favorite memory of Oregon was when we went into a dress shop and 'Unwritten' by Natasha Bedingfield came on and I just started dancing around the store and singing to it and it was just fun. Like for four minutes and nineteen seconds I appreciated what I had. And the lady in the store was just like: "I think it's amazing how happy you are."

And why not? What isn't there to be happy about? I have tests to make up. I'm still very weak. My head is having constant aches. Last night my cramps were so bad I was doubled-over and today I managed to pull a muscle in my groin.

And I'm still happy? Gee, what a thought.

People are forgetting how trivial things are right now. Why not enjoy the day instead of worrying about things that next year we won't remember?

There's this great guy named Joey. He found me on Myspace and said he went to Eastlake and he sees me in the halls all the time and he thinks I look like Synyster Gates with my hair and my hat. He's talked to me on Myspace and AIM for the past month or so and we talk at school a little. He sends me little texts and just does cute little things.

When I was sick he sent me a big picture on Myspace that said: "Get Well Soon!" And for my birthday a picture that had balloons and "Happy Birthday!" Silly, little things... but those 'little things' have always been my favorite. When we were in Sun River he texted me just to say: "Hi." I can't text him back because my service won't let me, I told him that but even still he texts me just to say: "Hi." And yesterday I was running around the house, stressed and trying to get ready and all of a sudden my phone vibrates and I opened it to find another text from him saying: "I know you can't text me back but... Good morning."

Silly little things. Things he does just because I tell them that every time he does that I smile. Even this morning he decided to joke with me at 5:30 with: "GOOD MORNING!" A jerk... but one of the best ways to wake up.

He used to frustrate me because it seemed as if he was too shy to talk to me at school even though he talked up a storm on AIM. But today he stopped me in the hall and said I missed him playing guitar. And then at the end of the day I was standing on the stairs waiting for the bus and my phone started vibrating. I looked and Joey was calling. I answered. He hung up. I looked around, confused like maybe my phone had lost the call, but instead he was standing at the top of the stairs just smiling and waving at me.

It's a good feeling. He's a nice guy. Cute too. I wouldn't mind going out with him sometime but if we don't I won't be heartbroken. The whole thing is to just have fun. Appreciate what you have and then just move on when it's over. Like the Andy thing. It was fun. We had a good time. It ended. I've moved on. I don't regret it, but I also don't miss it.

It's okay to have fun. Really. It is.

Just appreciate what you have and don't worry about what you don't. Life is about today...

Not tomorrow.

-jfm
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This World, This World Is Cold. [Mar. 26th, 2006|09:56 pm]
Jonica FM
[Current Mood |depressedextremely hurt]
[Current Music |Hold On - Good Charlotte]

"Do you know how much you're like your mother?"






There is nothing in this world that could hurt me worse than you saying that.

-jfm
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Sitting Out Dances On The Wall, Trying To Forget Everything That Isn't You. [Mar. 22nd, 2006|08:12 pm]
Jonica FM
[Current Mood |happyhappy]
[Current Music |7 Minutes In Heaven - Fall Out Boy]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR HANNAH! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Yay. Hannah is the big ONE SIX! Wooooooooooooo! I'm excited. I meant to give her flowers but I am spacey and forgot. BUT DO NOT FEAR! ...She is getting them.

Sixteen. Sixteen. Look at us... we're big kids now. We're the ones that little kids look at and say: I wish I was sixteen.

We're big kids now.

Wonderful Hannah. Happy birthday.

-jfm
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Douse Yourself In Cheap Perfume, It's So Fitting Of The Way You Are. [Mar. 16th, 2006|09:27 pm]
Jonica FM
[Current Mood |happyhappy]
[Current Music |I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy... - Fall Out Boy]

Who I am hates who I was... and loves who I am today. I have no regrets about the way I am. Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a nerd, but at the same time I would never change that.

A lot is going on right now. Struggles. Things I can't control. Things that I just have to put faith in God and say: "I hope you know what you're doing." And I think I can finally accept to do that. Sometimes things get beyond my control.

Right now I've got a lot of good things going for me. A lot of things that are going to help me through these tough times. I had one bad day and then dozens of people were checking up on me, asking me how I was, saying that things weren't the same when I was gone.

I'm not the only one who likes me... I actually have friends. Not just one clique... but now everywhere. I'm never really alone. Almost anywhere I can find someone I know and someone to laugh and smile with. And if I don't know them, I'll just make new friends. Because I'm not afraid anymore. I'm capable.

For a little bit I was afraid I wasn't liking who I am... but I do. I like who the mirror shows. I like being happy. I like smiling. When I smile I feel like the prettiest thing in the world.

I don't need a cool stereotype... I don't need one clique of friends...

I just like happiness.

-jfm
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I Never Seem To Get A Lot. [Mar. 15th, 2006|06:47 pm]
Jonica FM
[Current Mood |numbbetrayed]
[Current Music |Cupid's Chokehold - Gym Class Heroes]

You lie and you continuously hurt us. You think we're so wicked and cruel and don't realize that we were the only ones who really cared. Real friends tell you when you're doing something wrong. The fake ones support it. How could you?

You told her. You took a fragile strand of trust and used it for an advantage. You picked sides. How could you?

You built my life up. You put me on the highest stage just like you did with Andy. You put me into a state of bliss and happiness and then pulled everything out from under me. I could look at myself in the mirror. I was happy with who that reflection was. You made me believe I was capable and that I was strong. Now you've rendered me helpless again.

Why? Over and over why are you playing this game? Wasn't once enough?

-jfm
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